


Tricks And Treats

by LuanRina



Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU, Another possible waste of time, Bottom Kiryuu Zero, Fluff - Sort of, Humor - Sort of, KaZe as in Kaname x Zero, Kaname and Zero being idiots, Kaname/Zero - Freeform, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut - Sorry, OOC-ness, Oneshot, Romance - sort of, Top Kuran Kaname, Vamp!Kaname x Witch!Zero parody of sorts, kaname x zero, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 19:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuanRina/pseuds/LuanRina
Summary: AU. Just a peek into the life of two idiots that can't go a single day without some tricks, treats and each other. Kaname/Zero





	Tricks And Treats

**Author's Note:**

> **Tricks And Treats**
> 
> A Vampire Knight Fan Fiction
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** VK and its characters are obviously not mine. But you know what I would have done if they were ;9 Ah, Kaname-sama x Zero-chan eternal love and passion and hotness…*sighs dreamily*
> 
>  **Pairings:** Kaname/Zero (Naturally xD)
> 
>  **Warnings:** OOC-ness, silliness, our dear boys being idiots, no plot, author's lame attempts at humor and fluff. That's about it, I guess.
> 
> _**A/N:** This one is totally out of season, considering the setting, but oh, well, that's just the way I roll xD Either way, it's nothing special, just something light and angst-free to lift our mood. I was aiming for the 'funny and fluffy' feel, but don't know whether I managed to deliver or not. Still, I hope you won't find it totally worthless or terrible._
> 
> _As usual, all mistakes are mine — and since I'm not a native speaker, there definitely will be some. For that I apologize in advance *bows deeply*_
> 
> _Now with that said and out of the way… Hope you will enjoy reading! :D_

On the outskirts of a place called the Cross village, there was an old forest, deep and dense, lush and beautiful. It was rich with all kinds of greenery and animals, its air was exceptionally pure and the water in the large lake located within its confines was the clearest there could be. It was a heavenly place anyone would be happy to live in, yet no villager dared to enter it, especially at night. They were too scared of its supernatural occupants to get close. Although there _was_ an exception to that rule.

That exception was a skilled witch named Kiryuu Zero — mainly because he was the only forest dweller without _fangs_ that craved human blood. And because he could actually stand up to his supernatural neighbors that did have those fangs — the vampires.

"What are you making this time?" one of such fanged creatures — a petite girl called Kuran Yuuki — asked as she looked over Zero's arm, blinking down at the weird-colored substance Zero was stirring inside a huge iron pot half his own size — and almost two-thirds hers. She leaned closer, sniffing the liquid. "Smells nice."

"Don't," Zero said as he lifted his arm to stop Yuuki from approaching the pot any further. "It's poisonous for your kind."

Yuuki automatically retreated, alarmed. Frowning at the back of Zero's head, she asked suspiciously, "You aren't going to use it on Kaname-onii-sama, are you?"

Zero heard notes of accusation in her tone, but it hardly affected him. "Who else would I use it on?" He paused to reconsider for a moment before adding, "Other than Aidou, of course."

Yuuki heaved a sigh. "What _did_ he do this time?"

"Which one of them?"

It wasn't that difficult to guess why Zero would be pissed at the forest's notorious troublemaker called Aidou Hanabusa — it was much harder to come up with a reason why he _wouldn't_ be. Thus the choice was obvious. "Kaname-onii-sama." Then again, her older brother's case wasn't much different.

Zero looked at Yuuki over his shoulder, one silver eyebrow raised. "You really want to know?"

"Uh…" Now that she thought about it… "No." She shook her head. "No, it's okay."

Zero gave a small nod and turned back to his potion, reaching for some herbs and adding them into the mix before stirring the concoction some more. It started bubbling, and the color got even weirder. An uncertain frown creased Yuuki's brow. "It won't kill him…will it?" she asked, looking up at Zero.

Zero snorted. "Oh, I _wish_."

Yuuki's frown deepened. "You don't mean that."

"Actually, I do."

More herbs, more stirring. Some funny-smelling liquid followed by a suspicious-looking powder, more stirring.

Yuuki pouted. "No, you don't," she insisted. "You're just too stubborn to admit that you actually _don't_ dislike him."

Zero gave her a warning look over his shoulder. Yuuki recoiled a little before adding sheepishly, "Um, I mean, not _that_ much."

Zero turned away with a stubborn huff and resumed his stirring motions, more vigorously this time, all the while grumbling about _'stupid purebloods with their stupid powers'_ and _'annoying horny bastards with their annoying horniness and bastardly ways'_.

 _'Same old, same old,'_ Yuuki thought as she heaved a sigh and shook her head in resignation.

**-o-**

"What is this?" Kuran Kaname, a pureblood vampire and the vampire king that also happened to be Yuuki's older brother and the main resident of the forest asked as he frowned at the magic barrier around Zero's stone cottage.

"A new potion," Zero replied, leaning against the door frame. A smug smirk stretched his lips as he continued, "You won't be able to get past my barrier so easily anymore."

 _'As if it was ever easy,'_ Kaname mentally grumbled before replying, "Is this _any_ way to treat your lover?"

Zero huffed, folding his arms over his chest. "The fact that you're a pervert constantly trying to get into my pants doesn't automatically make you my lover."

Kaname mirrored Zero's posture. "Not _just_ trying."

Zero flushed, but quickly forced himself to calm down. "Those were only a few times."

" _'A few'_?" Kaname snorted. "I believe the right term would be _'a lot'_."

Zero scowled. "In your dreams."

"Already. Since a long time ago." Kaname's lips quirked into a roguish smirk. His dark eyebrows wiggled playfully as he added, "A _lot_."

Zero's lavender eyes widened. A deep blush rose to his cheeks, quickly spreading further. Zero tried to mask it with another scowl, but to no avail. Kaname's widened smirk coupled with an annoying — because _everything_ about him was just that; _annoying_ — snort confirmed it.

"Go to hell!" Zero shouted, recoiling into his cottage and slamming the door shut after himself.

Kaname only sighed and shook his head with another chuckle before starting to look for ways to get past Zero's strengthened barrier.

Just another lovely night.

**-o-**

"You're a hopeless moron," Zero huffed as he deposited Kaname on his couch. Looking at the pureblood's damaged with bruises and burns face, he added with a reproving frown, "You know that, right?"

Kaname chuckled, then winced at the pain caused by the action, coughing.

Zero's frown turned to one of concern. He reached out his hand to feel Kaname's forehead, his brows creased further at the heightened temperature the damaged skin radiated. "You're an idiot," he voiced his verdict, shaking his head. "Even though you knew the consequences…"

A small smile curled Kaname's lips. "Worried about me?" he teased.

Zero gave a start, blinking down at Kaname in bewilderment before turning away with a huff. "Like hell I am."

"Not even a little?"

"No."

Kaname pouted childishly. "How cold," he accused. "Why can't you be more affectionate with me?"

Zero raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Why the hell should I? So far you've been nothing but an annoying creep."

"Because you love me."

"Wha-" Zero faltered, wide-eyed in his speechless indignation. "I don't!"

"Of course you do," Kaname insisted, genuinely convinced of his rightness.

"Another word, and I'll kick you out," Zero threatened, scowling.

"I'm an injured person, you know? Surely you wouldn't be so cruel."

"Try me."

"Oh, I'd _love_ -"

"Shut the hell up!" Zero exclaimed, red-faced, turning around and stalking out of the room without waiting for Kaname to finish.

"Aren't you going to use this opportunity to take advantage of me?" Kaname asked hopefully as he stared after Zero's retreating back.

Zero's response was a string of curses grumbled under his breath.

Kaname couldn't help chuckling at the reaction, proud to know he was the only one who could affect his beloved to that extent. It was worth suffering getting through Zero's magic barrier just to see him all worried and flustered like that.

With another wince, Kaname made himself comfortable on the couch and slowly inhaled the wonderfully familiar scent of Zero all around him. His body automatically relaxed, his eyes slid shut, and within seconds he drifted off to sleep, a small content smile never leaving his lips.

It took him only a few hours to recover, and the second Kaname was sure he could function properly again, he acted. 

In the wonderfully comforting darkness of the night, he slowly rose from the couch he had been peacefully resting on and sleekly made his way through the house to Zero's room. He found the door locked when he tried to enter, but it wasn't anything unexpected. Nor was it enough to discourage him. Not in the slightest.

Snorting, he concentrated his powers on the lock, and within a second, it turned with a soft _'click'_. He felt his pulse pick up as he slowly pushed the door open, peering inside to make sure Zero was asleep before proceeding forward, his feet soundless on the wooden floorboards. A small smile tugged at the corners of Kaname's mouth as his gaze did a quick sweep of his surroundings. The room was exactly the same as he remembered it; nice and cozy and filled with dozens of thick books and scrolls on magic in its every shape and form, whether black or white or in-between, and a huge part of that enormous collection was scattered all over the place, including the bed Zero was currently occupying as he slept curled up on his side with one of his volumes hugged to his chest.

Kaname suppressed a chuckle, even if a small part of him felt a twinge of petty jealousy at the endearing sight. He knew it was ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. And could anyone really blame him? That was _his_ place that stupid book was so impudently occupying, and it even had the audacity to flaunt it in his face.

He glared at the inanimate object that Zero somehow found more interesting than him. _Him_. How on earth was something as outrageous as that even possible?

With a mental huff, Kaname crawled onto the bed while carefully — and quietly — moving the rest of the books out of the way with his telekinetic powers.

Zero shifted, and Kaname halted his actions. Keeping completely still and holding his breath, he watched the silver-haired witch curl into himself a little more, burgundy eyes narrowing when Zero hugged his book tighter with a content sigh.

 _'Stupid book,'_ Kaname mentally cursed, all but searing the said object with his glare. _'Don't you get too comfortable there. Just because_ my _Zero is too stubborn to admit his undying love for me doesn't mean I'll allow you to take_ my _rightful place.'_

Exhaling quietly after Zero had settled, Kaname waited a few moments before getting the rest of the books out of the way and creeping further. Now hovering directly over Zero, he took his sweet time observing his beloved's exquisite features in all their relaxed, vulnerable beauty.

Kaname's expression softened with a smile. Lifting his hand, he reached out and brushed silver bangs aside to get a better view of Zero's face, his fingers lingered on the strands between them before letting go and gently stroking Zero's cheek. 

Zero gave a soft grunt, shifting slightly, but quickly settling anew.

Kaname's smile widened, he stifled an amused chuckle that threatened to escaped him. Unable to help himself, he let his fingers play with silver hair for a bit longer, then bent down to brush his lips over Zero's skin in a series of light, tender kisses, starting from his cheek and going lower.

With a small whine, Zero tried to move away, but Kaname only followed him and planted more kisses on his sensitive — as Kaname had discovered during many of their previous encounters that had nearly cost him his immortal life — neck.

Another whine came, then a slight shiver coursed through Zero's lean frame.

Kaname smirked. That particularly sensitive patch of skin he had just teased never failed to elicit one of the most delightful reactions from his beloved. Licking his lips, he leaned down and attacked Zero's neck anew, bolder and more persistent this time.

The response he got was even more deliciously vocal and intense, which only encouraged Kaname to keep going. Zero's hold on his book loosened, and Kaname's lips curved further, a small snort escaping him. Giving his inanimate rival a smug look, he carefully removed it from Zero's arms and let it join the rest of the books before returning his undivided attention to Zero. His hands began wandering; their touches starting off gentle and barely perceptible, but quickly gaining confidence and getting more enthusiastic in their exploration.

Letting out a quiet groan of what could only be pleasure, Zero shifted onto his back, thus giving Kaname easier access to his body.

A low growl rumbled in Kaname's throat, his form stilled for a long moment as it shook with uncontrollable excitement at having his beloved spread beneath him, so open and vulnerable and unaware, completely at Kaname's mercy for the time being.

He had to force himself to take slow, deep breaths in order to calm down.

It took him a bit longer than he would have liked, but Kaname managed to regain his composure in the end, and it was only then that he allowed one of his eager hands sneak underneath Zero's shirt and resume its sensual travel over pale skin while he slowly leaned down to bring their faces closer together. His lips descended on Zero's cheek, again and again, languidly showering it with loving caresses.

Before long Zero began to stir.

Kaname's soft kisses turned firmer, his touches got bolder. He could feel awareness seep into Zero's consciousness, slowly but surely, and it made his heart flutter with excitement.

Lavender eyes slid open just as Kaname raised himself over Zero.

Their gazes locked. Everything around them stilled.

Zero blinked groggily; once, then twice. A tiny frown creased his brows. It was clear he was struggling to comprehend the situation.

Kaname's lips curved into a gentle smile, his hand rose to cup Zero's cheek.

Zero breathed a sigh and closed his eyes, leaning into the touch.

Kaname's smile widened at the sight. Encouraged by the endearing response, he leaned down anew, this time to claim his beloved's lips.

Zero let him. He welcomed and reciprocated the caress, and it was wonderful.

Too bad it didn't last for long.

All of a sudden, a loud hiss interrupted the silence.

Kaname and Zero parted with a slight start, their eyes wide as they blinked at each other.

Another hiss came, more menacing this time, and it was quickly followed by a growled, "Get the fuck off him, you perv!"

Two pairs of eyes turned toward the source of the voice, only to land on a beautiful, long-haired silver cat that was glaring daggers at Kaname.

Kaname's eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth turned down in a scowl. Zero, on the other hand, was happy to see the feline. 

"Ichiru," Zero sighed, a small smile forming on his lips. "You're back."

Ichiru didn't respond, he only continued glaring at Kaname while arching his back with another angry hiss, his fur bristling.

Kaname bared his fangs and hissed back.

"Hey, don't do that," Zero scolded Kaname, pushing against his chest to put some space between them in order to sit up. Reaching for Ichiru, he gently picked him up and cradled him in his arms. "You'll scare him."

Kaname raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Is _that_ ," he pointed at the cat whose eyes were _still_ burning holes through him, "what fear looks like to you?"

Zero shrugged. "It's a defense mechanism. You startled him," he explained while absently stroking Ichiru's soft fur. He looked down at the feline. "Right, Ichiru?"

The change in the cat's attitude as he looked up at Zero was immediate; all signs of hostility were gone, he was the very definition of innocence and sweetness. "Yes, nii-san," he confirmed with a nod before closing his eyes and inclining his head in a silent request for Zero to scratch under his chin. Naturally, Zero did. Ichiru purred, a content smile spread across his face. Lazily, he half opened one eye to peek at Kaname. His smile morphed into a lopsided smirk.

Kaname glowered at the silver cat.

Completely unaffected, Ichiru gave a snort and twisted his body to crawl up Zero's chest.

A scowl darkened Kaname's features as he watched Ichiru nuzzle his head into the crook of Zero's neck before licking the skin there.

"Why is _he_ allowed to do that whenever he feels like it, and I'm not?" Kaname asked accusingly.

Zero frowned, his hand still stroking Ichiru absent-mindedly. "Do what?" 

"Touch you so intimately," Kaname elaborated. "You welcome such advances from _him_ , yet accuse me of being some kind of pervert whenever I try to get close to you." There was a pout on his face now. He tried to hide it, of course, but didn't quite succeed.

Zero blinked a few times before replying evenly, "You _are_ a pervert."

"That is not the point."

"So you don't deny it."

" _I_ am not the problem." Kaname shifted his gaze to Ichiru. " _He_ is."

Zero arched an unimpressed eyebrow. "He is a cat."

"He is a menace." Before Zero could defend Ichiru, Kaname added, "And he is trying to steal you from me."

"There is nothing _to_ steal."

"Yes, there is."

"No. There isn't."

Kaname sighed and shook his head in exasperation. The action made Zero feel as though _he_ was the one being an unreasonable idiot and not the other way around.

"Honestly," Kaname said, "I wish you would just accept it already."

"Accept what?"

"That you're mine."

Zero sighed. "And I wish you would stop pushing that delusion of yours on me. Tough luck for both of us, huh."

"You don't even mean it."

"Yes, I do."

Kaname snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yet you kissed me."

Zero tensed up briefly, his hand stopped stroking Ichiru for a second before resuming its caressing motions. "I never did such a thing," he denied, but his averted gaze and slightly reddened cheeks suggested a different answer.

A satisfied smirk lifted the corners of Kaname's mouth. "Yes you did," he insisted. "About five minutes ago. And then all those other times…" He closed his eyes for a few moments, very pointedly recalling the events he was talking about.

Zero's blush deepened, but he refused to surrender. His gaze snapped back to Kaname. "I _didn't_. That was you being your usual perverted self."

"Oh? Was that how _your_ sweet little tongue ended up in _my_ mouth?" Kaname licked his lips suggestively.

Zero bristled at the words. It wasn't just his face that was red anymore, but his ears and neck too. "T-that was accidental," he tried to defend himself.

" _All_ those times?"

Zero pressed his lips together. He didn't offer an answer. 

Kaname gave a triumphant snort, not bothering to hide how pleased he was with himself. 

Zero averted his eyes, mortified. His arms tightened around Ichiru.

Ichiru shot Kaname an annoyed glare, then huffed and turned away to offer Zero some comfort by nuzzling his neck once more. 

Kaname had clearly won.

**-o-**

"Go home," Zero ordered as he put on his cloak and witch hat. 

"I can't. The sun is at its zenith," Kaname said, pointing at the window.

Zero sighed. "Okay, fine. You can stay. But only if you keep quiet while I'm gone."

"Where are you going?"

"To the village. I need to buy some supplies," he replied absently while checking the contents of his bag. When he was certain that he hadn't forgotten anything, he gave himself a small nod and slung the bag over his shoulder.

"Can I go with?"

Zero returned his attention to Kaname, one eyebrow rising. "You just said you couldn't go outside."

Kaname tilted his head sideways. "Did I?"

Well, now that Zero thought about it... "You implied it."

"Did I?" Kaname repeated his question.

Zero nodded. "You did."

"Oh, well," Kaname gave an elegant shrug, "it's not as serious as it might have sounded."

Zero's eyes narrowed. "So you lied."

"I didn't. You simply misunderstood me."

"With _your_ assistance."

Kaname made a mock bow. "Always a pleasure."

Zero tried to stifle a snort, but failed. He _was_ actually amused. "Shut up."

"Make me," Kaname challenged, wiggling his brows suggestively. "I know you know just the right way to do it."

Zero turned away, going beet red to the roots of his hair. "Stupid pervert," he muttered under his breath, frowning. Oh, how Kaname _loved_ to put that troubled little frown on his beloved's face. "I'm off," Zero announced, heading for the door.

"So I can't go with you?" Kaname asked.

" _No_." Zero looked over his shoulder. "The villagers would freak out."

"So?"

"So they wouldn't sell me anything."

"How come they're fine being around you yet not me?"

Zero shrugged. "Probably has something to do with my blood-free diet."

Kaname huffed, folding his arms over his chest. "Ignorant fools. As if I would want _their_ blood."

"Whatever," Zero dismissed the topic. "Feel free to leave while I'm gone."

"The sun is at its zenith," Kaname offered the same excuse.

Sighing, Zero shook his head in amused exasperation and left.

Kaname ended up spending another night. It was the longest Zero had allowed him to stay so far, and Kaname couldn't be happier. Things really seemed to be looking up for him.

**-o-**

"You seem happy," Kaname's best friend, Ichijou Takuma, observed. "Did something good happen?"

Kaname hummed contently, nodding. "You could say that."

"Is it Zero-kun?"

"Naturally," Kaname replied without missing a beat. He turned to Takuma, blinking at him with genuine wonder in his burgundy eyes. "Who else _could_ it be?" 

Takuma chuckled, happy for his friend. "So does it mean you're finally official?"

Kaname blinked, tilting his head to the side as he asked, "Haven't we been all this time?"

"Uh, I mean… Did _Zero-kun_ agree to it?"

"I didn't ask. I assumed we already were." He paused before asking, "Should I ask?"

Takuma nodded. "I think you should. Just to be sure."

Kaname nodded back. "I will." His brows furrowed and eyes turned thoughtful for a few moments. "But how?" he asked next, suddenly lost, as he returned his attention to Takuma.

"Um…" Takuma blinked. "Well…with words?"

"What should I say?"

"That you like him?"

Kaname frowned. "I don't like him."

Takuma blinked, taken aback. Before he could answer, however, Kaname continued.

"I love him." 

"Oh." Now that was more like it. "Yeah," Takuma nodded. "That. Tell him that."

"Haven't I?"

"Have you?"

Kaname took a moment to think. "I'm not sure anymore. Maybe not out loud?"

"All the more reason to tell him, then."

Kaname's eyes widened with sudden realization. "Do you think he doesn't know?"

"Well, if you haven't _told_ him…"

Kaname frowned. "But isn't it _obvious_?"

Takuma sighed. "Yeah. To everyone _but_ Zero-kun."

Kaname's frown deepened. "How so?"

An unimpressed blond eyebrow arched. "Because you _haven't_ told him?"

"Is it that important?" Kaname asked, genuinely puzzled.

"It seems to be nowadays."

"When did _you_ become such an expert at that?"

"Well," Takuma said with a shrug of his shoulders, "unlike you, I _have_ actually _dated_."

"I have too," Kaname disagreed.

Takuma snorted. "Yeah, right. And that was how many millennia ago?"

"…A few."

"And back then the concept of dating itself didn't exist."

Kaname shrugged. "I don't see what's wrong with that."

"Those were _ancient_ times."

"Are you implying that I'm old?"

"I believe the word I used was 'ancient'."

"I'm not _that_ -"

"And a hermit," Takuma added, interrupting Kaname.

"Not anymo-"

" _And_ the love of your life is an infant."

"He is not an _infant_ ," Kaname protested, frowning.

"Compared to you, he is."

Kaname gave an exasperated sigh. "Your point being?"

"That Zero-kun isn't exactly familiar with the 'old ways' that you're accustomed to, which makes communication all the more essential to your relationship." After a second, Takuma added, "If you want to have one, that is."

Kaname's reply was immediate. "Of course I do."

Takuma smiled, nodding. "That's what I thought."

A short while of silence passed before Kaname rose to his feet. "I'm going out," he announced — completely unnecessarily, as Takuma had anticipated such turn of events since the beginning of their conversation. "Make sure everything is in order." And he left without waiting for Takuma's positive reply.

**-o-**

"What is it this time?" Yuuki asked as she watched Zero work on something new.

"A spell."

"Anti-vampire?"

"Anti-Kuran," Zero elaborated.

"Did the potion fail?"

"No." Then he explained before Yuuki could ask her next question, "But that bastard is persistent."

Yuuki sighed her exasperation and shook her head. "You guys should really just become official already."

Zero gave Yuuki a frown. "What do you mean 'official'?"

"As in, become a couple. _Officially_ , I mean," Yuuki explained.

Zero's brows furrowed further.

"Hey," Ichiru all but hissed from where he was curled up as he let one bright lilac eye slide open lazily to send Yuuki a surprisingly sharp — considering he had supposedly been asleep until that very moment — glare. "Quit imposing your weird ideas on my brother."

Yuuki huffed. "There's nothing 'weird' about my ideas." She turned to face Ichiru more fully and, crossing her arms over her chest, added with an arched eyebrow, "And he isn't even really your brother."

That prompted Ichiru to open his second eye. "Yes, he is," he insisted.

"Technically, he _isn't_."

"I don't _care_ about stupid technicalities. If I see him as one, he is, and that's _it_."

Yuuki could only sigh and shake her head, knowing all too well it was useless to argue with Ichiru.

Completely ignoring the two's little exchange, Zero continued where he and Yuuki had left off.

"You speak as though _un_ officially we're already a…uh, I mean…" he trailed off, too embarrassed to finish. "Never mind." He turned away and continued working on his spell, his cheeks warm.

Yuuki tilted her head to the side, blinking. "What? A couple?" Zero stayed quiet and pretended to concentrate on his task, but Yuuki noticed his blush deepen. She giggled. "But of course you are."

"Shut up," Zero grumbled. "You're as delusional as that idiot."

Another giggle. _'So cute,'_ Yuuki couldn't help thinking.

"I second that," Ichiru drawled, rolling over on his back to stretch lazily, his eyes sliding shut contently. "You two nut jobs are such a nuisance. I wish you'd stop bothering us normal people already."

"You _aren't_ normal. Neither of you is," Yuuki disagreed as she returned her attention to Ichiru. "And you aren't even a person, so stop referring to yourself as one."

"Hey," Zero frowned disapprovingly.

"Tell her, nii-san," Ichiru encouraged, unaffected and still lounging in his favorite spot with his eyes closed, little legs up in the air and furry tummy sitting there tantalizingly exposed and just waiting to be stroked. Even Yuuki felt tempted to touch it, but she forced herself to stay put for fear of getting her hand bitten off. Ichiru was small, but he was _vicious_. And the only one _allowed_ to touch him so intimately was Zero. She had learned that simple rule the hard way a very long time ago, and she didn't dare make another attempt to violate it still.

As thought rubbing it in, Zero casually extended his hand to stroke Ichiru's belly, unfailingly — and effortlessly — coaxing content purring out of the silver cat while he continued admonishingly with his eyes never leaving Yuuki, "Don't say stuff like that. You'll upset him."

"Upset? _Him_?" Yuuki gave Ichiru a long, pointed look, then scoffed. __

Zero's frown deepened. "That's mean. Ichiru is very sensitive, you know?"

Ichiru stretched and shifted a little to guide Zero's fingers to where he wanted them. Nodding, he drawled, "That I am." Letting out a small moan, he shifted again and added, "A little harder there, nii-san…"

"That okay?"

Ichiru hummed his contentment. "Very," he purred.

Yuuki rolled her eyes. " _Anyway_ ," she tried to get back to the original topic of their conversation. "As I was saying- _"_

Suddenly, there was a slight shift in the air, and they all tensed and stilled for a moment.

Yuuki and Zero immediately turned their attention toward the door. Ichiru did the same right after rolling onto his side, teeth bared and a growl rising in his throat.

"Well," Yuuki said, perking up, "guess I better go. Wouldn't want to get in the way of you two lovebirds."

"We're _not_ -"

Yuuki didn't let Zero finish and turned to Ichiru, an almost blindingly bright smile that immediately alarmed the silver cat formed on her lips as she suggested, "Come on, Ichiru-kun. Let's give them some much-needed privacy."

"I-"

Without waiting for Ichiru's consent, Yuuki quickly grabbed him and, bidding Zero a hasty farewell, she all but fled from the house while doing her best to avoid razor sharp claws of a vigorously thrashing and angrily hissing Ichiru.

Zero swore under his breath. He took a few moments to scowl after Yuuki, then heaved a long, tired sigh of surrender and shook his head before finally walking up to the door and going outside. As expected, there, only a few meters away from his doorstep, stood Kaname.

"What is the meaning of this?" Kaname asked with a puzzled frown creasing his forehead, referring to the new — and enhanced — magic barrier Zero had put up in order to keep him locked out.

Zero crossed his arms over his chest. 

"No vampire is allowed to enter this house."

"But you let Yuuki in!" Kaname accused in what Zero mentally pegged as his whiny tone. 

Zero shrugged. "She is different," he reasoned.

"No, she is not! She is my _sister_!"

"And for that I pity her."

"Wh-wha-" Kaname gaped, speechless for a second. "Now you're just being deliberately _mean_!"

"Because you're being a pain in the ass. Like _always_."

"Oh, I _wish_ ," Kaname shot back with a smirk and wiggled eyebrows, quite a bit of his usual perverted playfulness returning.

Zero rolled his eyes. "That's it," he said, evidently fed up with the conversation. "We're done. Go away. I'm busy today." He stepped back into his cottage, about to pull the door closed, but a sudden puffing sound and a thick cloud of smoke stopped him in his tracks. His eyes narrowing, he peered into the smoke, curious to see what was hidden behind its veil.

A few seconds passed before the cloud started to dissipate. Zero pushed the door open and stepped outside to see better. There was no Kaname's form anymore. But there was something — or was it someone? — else in his stead. Zero squinted, eventually managing to make out a silhouette behind the smoke. Another couple of seconds later, Zero's eyes widened at the sight before him.

It was a wolf. A beautiful, massive black wolf. At first Zero was confused, but then he looked into the animal's eyes, and it hit him. He knew those eyes, those deep burgundy orbs. They could only belong to-

" _Kaname_ …?" Zero breathed the name, frowning.

The wolf blinked, and somehow that was enough of an answer for Zero. It _was_ him. Zero knew it. He could tell.

Kaname slowly moved forward. He stopped a few paces away from Zero, right where the new magic barrier started, and looked up at him expectantly. Then he sat down and just stared.

Zero stared back. It lasted for a while, and Zero could feel his resolve begin to crumble. He took a few cautious steps backwards, entering his house anew, and pulled the door half-closed. "Oh, no, don't look at me like that. You're not getting in."

Kaname continued staring.

Zero pressed his lips together. He could feel it miserably crumble further, that semblance of resolve of his.

"You're _not_ ," Zero insisted, but Kaname knew better. He could already see himself winning this battle. All Zero needed was a little push.

So Kaname went in for the kill and made the saddest rejected eyes _ever_.

Zero held back a pathetic whimper of what he knew was complete and utter defeat and gave a long, resigned sigh instead.

"Okay, fine," he conceded, pushing the door open and stepping aside to let Kaname through while mentally deactivating the barrier. "But only for a few minutes."

Kaname didn't even bother to hold back a snort and a smug smirk as he languidly strode inside with his head held high in triumph.

Zero was about to close the door, when he suddenly — or rather, finally — perceived something he hadn't before as his eyes landed on a pile of clothes lying on the ground in front of his house. His eyes widened as realization dawned on him, his head whipped around to look at Kaname.

"Wait, are you _naked_ right now?"

Am unimpressed look was all he got in response.

Zero sighed. "Yeah, right. Forget I asked."

Kaname proceeded on his way with an even wider smirk while Zero picked up his discarded clothes before joining him inside as well.

Several hours later, Ichiru finally — _finally_ — managed to return home after breaking free from Yuuki's persistent clutches. It had been a difficult and tiring battle, but Ichiru had prevailed, and he had immediately hurried back to his brother's side to guard him from the perverted predator that kept disrupting their peaceful life.

Jumping onto a window ledge, Ichiru pushed the window open. He was about to proceed inside, when suddenly his keen ears picked up the sounds that made him freeze. His face twisted in a grimace and a long-suffering groan left him.

He was too late — if the muffled moans and groans, the squeaking of the bed and Kaname's breathy professions of love coming from the other side of the house were any indication.

Heaving a deep sigh and shaking his head, Ichiru turned around and leapt from the ledge, landing gracefully on the ground below before striding off into the night and toward the nearby village for a little hunting trip. 

Two things he knew for sure; Zero would definitely be sore and unable to move properly on his own for the next few days, and Kaname would gladly use that as an excuse to stay glued to his side — among other body parts — the entire time. And Ichiru would rather not stay to see it unfold _yet_ _again_.

Another heavy sigh left him.

_'Same old, same old...'_

**-o-**

"Here's the one you wanted," Zero's friend and fellow witch, Takamiya Kaito, said as he handed Zero a thick, ancient-looking book.

Zero thanked his friend with a small nod as he accepted the book, holding it with the utmost care that the item of such rarity deserved. "How much time do I have?" he asked, looking up at Kaito after admiring the book for a few seconds.

"Yagari said you can keep it."

Zero blinked, his eyes widened in surprise that was soon joined by quiet excitement. "Really?"

Kaito nodded. "Yeah."

Zero smiled, unable to help himself. "Okay," he nodded, lowering his gaze to the book in his hands for another short while before returning his attention to Kaito. "Thank Yagari-shishou for me."

"I will," Kaito replied with another nod while his hand took hold of a cup of tea and brought it to his lips.

It got quiet as Kaito sipped his drink and Zero started reading his newly acquired book. It continued for some time, until Kaito broke the comfortable silence with a question directed at another presence in the room that he couldn't ignore anymore.

"The hell are _you_ doing here again?" he asked, scowling.

Kaname arched an elegant eyebrow. "Isn't it obvious? I live here."

"Wh-"

"He does not," Zero said before Kaito could finish his next question, still engrossed in his book.

"Not _yet_ ," Kaname didn't give up.

"Not _ever_." Neither did Zero.

Kaname pouted, then huffed. "We will see about that."

Zero nodded and replied absently, "We will."

Kaito chose that moment to intervene, "Why don't you come back with me?"

The question made both Kaname and Zero turn to Kaito, their eyes wide — the former's with shocked apprehension and the latter's with genuine surprise.

"Your house is intact, you can move back in anytime you want," Kaito continued. "It's much closer to us too." He shifted his gaze to Kaname, his eyes narrowed as he added, "And _safer_."

Kaname frowned. " _I_ am perfectly capable of protecting him."

" _I_ ," Zero mimicked Kaname's tone, twisting his body a little to look at the other, "am perfectly capable of protecting _myself_ , thank you very much." He turned back to Kaito. "Why all of a sudden?"

"It's not sudden. Yagari has been thinking about it for a while now." 

Zero frowned. "This is the first time I'm hearing about it."

Kaito shrugged. "I just never mentioned it."

"Why do it now, then?"

"Because now _I'm_ starting to get worried." Kaito gave Kaname another pointed look.

Kaname glared at him in response, his jaw set tight as he fought to suppress a growl that threatened to escape him.

Kaito returned his gaze to Zero. "You should come home."

A while of silence followed as Zero considered his friend's words.

Kaname waited for Zero's response anxiously, tense, his quiet worry grew stronger the longer the silence stretched. He gave a little start when familiar lavender eyes shifted to him for a long moment before Zero returned his attention to Kaito and finally spoke. 

"No, it's okay," he replied, shaking his head lightly, "I'm fine where I am. But thanks for the offer anyway."

Kaname's previously tense in agitation shoulders dropped. He breathed out, and a beaming smile of undeniable relief slowly stretched his lips.

Kaito sighed, then shrugged. "If you say so. I'll keep the offer open, though, so tell me if you ever change your mind."

"He won't change it," Kaname interjected before Zero could reply. "I'll make sure if it," he added, his smile widened as his gaze shifted to Zero, growing more intense with an unmistakable promise.

Zero suppressed a shudder. "Ugh…Actually, now that I think about it…"

All of a sudden, Kaname's form disappeared with a puffing sound, leaving only thick smoke in its place.

Kaito sprang up from his seat, alarmed, while Zero cursed quietly under his breath. 

After a short while, the smoke dissolved and from within it emerged a huge black wolf that Zero had seen the previous evening.

The wolf Kaname stared at Zero with his big, beautiful, _pitiful_ eyes that were meant to do one thing only; make the one on the receiving end of their mercilessness surrender.

Zero bit his lower lip. He managed to withstand a whole four seconds before doing exactly what Kaname wanted him to do.

"Okay, fine, you win," he surrendered.

Kaito frowned, blinking in confusion at the peculiar sight of the huge wolf coming up to Zero and behaving like a domestic pet. 

Zero chuckled as Kaname rested his massive head on his lap and nudged him in silent demand to be petted. Without a second thought, he obliged.

All but purring under Zero's tender touch, Kaname let his eyes slide closed and his mind go pleasantly blank as he enjoyed the attention given to him.

He kept getting this nagging feeling that he had forgotten something important, but couldn't quite recall what that something was. It was only after some time that it came back to him.

 _'Ah, that's right...'_ he thought languidly, his eyes cracking open just a smidgen.

He remembered now. He had meant to ask Zero to become a couple. Officially. He had planned to do it yesterday, but then they had gotten caught up in their usual playful banter immediately upon his arrival, he had turned into a wolf to trick Zero into letting him in, then after some time he had turned back, ending up completely naked with Zero so irresistibly close, and so one thing had led to another and they had ended up in bed and… Well, he hadn't exactly had the chance to bring the subject up, so now was as good a time as any.

Kaname gave himself a mental nod. He prepared to turn back to his original form and execute his plan, but then Zero's wonderfully talented hand slid under his chin in the most sinfully pleasant way. He couldn't help but lean into the caress before encouraging Zero to touch him more, enjoying every second of the treatment.

 _'Oh, well,'_ he thought with a mental shrug. _'Couldn't hurt to stay like this for a little longer,'_ he concluded while plopping on the floor and rolling over to have Zero rub his tummy. Which Zero did, and it was _divine_.

 _He really should do this more often,_ Kaname decided distractedly with a deep mental groan of pleasure.

And they really should just get married already.

 _'Yes,'_ Kaname mentally nodded to himself, _'that would be perfect.'_

He would get to it right away. But first…

…First he wanted to enjoy this little piece of pure heaven that was Zero's touch to the fullest.

**.**

**-The End-**

**.**

**Author's Note:**

> _**A/N:** Uh, yeah, that's about it. Just another little something to pass your time. Hope it was at least a little bit enjoyable. And really sorry if it wasn't *bows deeply*_
> 
> _Would be happy to hear your thoughts on this one as well. Take care, have a wonderful day/night, and hope to see you again soon! :D_


End file.
